Growth

It's been nearly a year since I've posted anything here, and over this past year, I've grown tremendously. I've learned so many new things about love, healing, and what it truly means to serve God. I've gone from one city to another for five months, then another for two months, then yet another for three months, only to come back to the place that I started. In all of that maneuvering, God has not only provided for me, but He has also showed me countless things about myself, and I've had to heal from a lot in order to get to where I am today physically, mentally, and especially spiritually.

One thing that I've always striven to do, was grow. I want to grow in every area of my life, but ESPECIALLY spiritually, and it wasn't until I was in Dallas, Texas at Dr. Tony Evan's church (Oakcliff Bible Fellowship) that I learned what being filled with un-forgiveness really results in. I asked God to make me 'not angry' anymore. I asked Him to stop my frustration over the small things, and to help me control my emotions, but what I should've been asking him was to heal all of the deep rooted un-forgiveness that was planted inside of my heart. During worship, Dr. Tony Evan's son spoke about how he had such an anger problem, and how God revealed to him that his anger would not dissipate until he forgave the people he was harboring resentment for. Are you harboring resentment in any way? I know I was, and then he said something else that really helped me. He said 'when you pray and ask God to deliver you from something, BELIEVE that it has been done, and then PROCEED with your life as if you have already been delivered. Don't go around wondering if God is going to deliver you from your sin. Have confidence that it is DONE!

Hmmm...that's some good stuff. So often, we ask God to do something for us, or in our lives, and then we walk around and wait on something magical to happen to show us that it's been done. In James 1:6-8 NIV says 'But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.'

Now the scripture just before this mentions 'wisdom' but I believe that God wants us to make this a practice in all just things that we ask Him for. That's a good word in itself! For me it was so comforting to know that I was able to ask God to deliver me from a bad emotion, a toxic way of reacting to things, and a spirit of un-forgiveness, and then I could BELIEVE that it was done. I'll tell you that since I walked out of that church with my mind made up that I was NOT the same person, I have never reverted back to who I was.

DISCLAIMER! I am NOT saying that I don't struggle with fleshly reactions & anger, but I am saying that I no longer claim that I am an angry or unforgiving person. I fully believe that God has delivered me from those issues, and while I still fall short, it's never to the extremity in which I was before, and as time passes on the offenses have nearly waned off. My un-forgiveness was really stunting my growth in God, and now, I truly understand the importance of giving God all of me. I want to grow, but not in this world. I want to grow in my relationship with God, because it is ONLY through God that I am able to achieve everything that I want to achieve. It is only through God that I am able to go on in the hard, mundane, days. I need God for EVERYTHING in my life, and if I don't know anything else, I know that God will complete the good work that He has started in my life (and yours!)

I hope someone found something useful in this post. There is so much to learn, and I couldn't write all that I've learned in just this past year in one night, but when I look at all that he has done for me...there are no words to express my gratuity. All I can do is get up every single day and try and make it my soul mission to love others just as God loved me.

Thank-you for reading!

Love & Blessings

Candace Taylor